Monday, January 22, 2007

Chapter 3: The Bells of Great Zim!



Deep in the pulsing heart of the jungle, swanky techno throbbed as torches lit the bamboo catwalk. All the men gathered in the flickering light and watched expectantly. Just as the house music reached a crescendo, the bushes parted and one, well turned khaki clad calf peeked out. The men erupted into appluase as the calf was followed by the attending thigh and then prompty by the seductive form of Suspiciously Svelte "Sam". "Sam" sucked in his (always) clean shaven cheeks, silenced the crowed with a hooded gaze, paced out the end of the catwalk, gave a spin and struck a pose.
"Excellent! Excellent "Sam"!" cried Jim,"We just need a bit more naughty, a bit more predator. Your the big cat, we're the gazelles!" Jim made a note on his clipboard and then froze as a familiar throat cleared itself by his elbow.
"Yes, Daniel?"
"Um sir, not to question your creative genius, but what exactly is the plan here?"
"As I have explained before Daniel, we need to raise funds so that our little Exploristation outfit here can keep afloat."
"No no, I know that sir. But...what is the plan here?"
"Ah. This, Daniel, is a fashion show. Did you know that some of those so-called "Designers" out there make absolutely ridiculous profits? Hmm. That's a pie we need a slice of, Daniel, so I have put my very best creative juices into the blender and whipped us up a Fashion Frappe!" Jim wasn't completely convinced of the eloquence of his analogy but he decided to muscle through it anyway.
Doubting Daniel pursed his lips and looked thoughtfully as Suspiciously Svelte "Sam" paced down the runway flapping a large Khaki cape like gigantic pterodactyl wings.
"So what would you same the theme is for this show?"
"Urban Explorista: The Concrete Jungle! Genius isn't it?"
"Well sir, it is promising but don't you think we might, I don't know, just...try using another color besides Khaki? I'm just throwing it out there."
Jim turned a blank face to Dan and blinked.
"Daniel. What does that even mean?"
"Look, Daniel, where were your smart suggestions before? Huh? It's not like this is the first scheme we tried."
"Sir if you're referring to the bake-sale I specifically warned you to keep the Cook away from any zoos."
Jim sighed bitterly, it was really amazing how much black rhino didn't taste like chicken.
"And if you're talking about the machete throwing routine I definately told you that One-Eyed Wally was not the man to use, especially with volunteers."
"Alright fine Daniel!" Jim snarled, "What kind of ideas do you have?"
"Well I don't know Jim, what about some actual exploring?"
"Explorista-ing."
"Whatever."
Jim sighed, "Daniel, you may never fully understand how much it pains me to say this, but....you're right." Jim turned to the darkness and clenched his fist.
"Now is the time for Action!"
Dan rolled his eyes. Quietly.

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